Reading through the Oklahoma City subreddit these days feels like watching a real-time documentary on modern romance. I’ve spent more evenings than I’d like to admit scrolling through threads where people dissect everything from first-date etiquette to the emotional toll of dating app fatigue. One comment in particular caught my eye recently—a user named de la Cruz compared the search for love to pursuing multiple college majors, saying, "It’s a commitment, so you can finish all eight majors maybe in two to three years, or even five. We’re in it for the long haul." That phrase, "in it for the long haul," has stuck with me because it perfectly captures the mindset shift I’m seeing among singles here in OKC.
People aren’t just swiping for instant gratification anymore. I’ve noticed a trend where users are openly discussing the need for patience, almost treating dating like a personal development project. One thread last month had over 200 comments debating whether it’s realistic to expect finding a compatible partner in under two years. The consensus? Unlikely. Many shared stories of dating 15-20 people over 18-24 months before meeting someone they wanted to commit to. This isn’t the frantic, volume-driven dating culture we saw back in 2019. There’s a deliberate pace now, a willingness to endure dry spells and awkward encounters because, as de la Cruz implied, meaningful connections aren’t built overnight.
What fascinates me is how this long-haul approach is changing behavior on the ground. I’ve started seeing more Reddit posts about people intentionally taking breaks—sometimes 3-month dating detoxes—to avoid burnout. There’s less shame in moving slowly. I’ve even adopted this myself; after a string of underwhelming dates last quarter, I decided to focus on just one app and limit myself to two new connections per month. The result? My stress levels dropped by what feels like 40%, and the conversations I did have felt more substantial. It’s not that people here have lowered their standards—if anything, the expectations are higher. Users frequently mention wanting alignment on values, lifestyle, and even long-term goals like financial habits or whether to have kids, which are topics that rarely came up in early dating stages just a few years ago.
Of course, this methodical approach has its critics. Some argue it overcomplicates dating, turning romance into a clinical checklist. I get that perspective—I’ve definitely caught myself analyzing compatibility so intensely that I forgot to enjoy the moment. But most OKC Redditors I’ve interacted with see it differently. They view dating as an investment, much like education or a career. You don’t rush through medical school in six months, so why should finding a life partner be any different? The data—or at least, the anecdotal reports—seem to support this. In a recent poll on the subreddit, roughly 65% of respondents said they’d rather date fewer people with higher compatibility than play the numbers game.
Personally, I lean toward the long-haul camp. The alternative—swiping endlessly without reflection—feels like running on a treadmill going nowhere. I’ve noticed that my own most fulfilling relationships emerged after I stopped treating dating as a race and started viewing it as a gradual journey. It’s not always easy; there are moments of loneliness and frustration. But reading the shared experiences on Reddit reminds me that I’m not alone in this mindset. If 2024 has taught me anything about dating in Oklahoma City, it’s that we’re collectively embracing the marathon, not the sprint. And honestly? I think we’re better for it.